So...
Okay, I don't think that this is what Lou Bega meant when he wrote those lines for Mambo Number 5, but let me tell you, my life has been jumping up and down, and has been movin' all around, etc. It's sort of, kind of maybe messing with my psyche a little bit.
Job and School Stuff:
UP: I am an excellent student that had a lot of scholarships and financial aid to help me get my BA
DOWN: When the economy crashed, it killed my college prospects since I can no longer get a loan to pay for my remaining balance a semester
UP: I had an ok job that was helping out a ton
DOWN: It was temporary
UP: I was starting to get the money to pay off my student debt
DOWN: Now I'm struggling to make rent
UP: I filed my FAFSA hoping that going back to school full time would again defer my loans, plus I could finish my last semester and get my BA
DOWN: The school wants me to re-apply before they will even give me my award letter and I don't have the money to apply right now
UP: I do have the possibility to file for bankruptcy and have had a few lawyers interested in working with me
DOWN: I do have the possibility to file for bankruptcy and have had a few lawyers interested in working with me
Rescue Stuff:
UP: I just broke 60 fosters
DOWN: I'm starting to burn out
UP: I love doing this stuff because I know I'm making a difference
DOWN: Sometimes I want to be selfish and quit and live just like everyone else; it's easy to do nothing
UP: I have adopted out about 60 animals that would have otherwise been euthanized
DOWN: I have to deal with stupid people that bring dogs back because they look too "pitty" or they didn't realize how much work a dog is and every other BS excuse
UP: I get to go to the pounds and see and temp out all of the dogs (even the ones in the bad dog areas) and get to play with lonely, homeless animals, making them feel better even if for just a moment
DOWN: I have to look death, abandonment, loneliness, and cries for rescue in the face
UP: I want to save them all
DOWN: I know I can't
Relationships:
UP: I am dating my best friend in the whole world and couldn't ask for anything more
DOWN: I feel like I disappoint him quite often
UP: I have really amazing parents that I talk to all the time and would do anything for me
DOWN: They don't understand the decisions that I make and I know they're disappointed in me
UP: I've made some great friends in the rescue
DOWN: I feel really insecure about them, like they're really just acquaintances and I'm stupid for relying on them for a real friendship
UP: My grandmother was an amazing and beautiful woman and I strive to be as open, stubborn and hardy as she
DOWN: I've really been missing my grandma lately, especially since I know she would be so proud of me. I hate knowing that she will not be at my wedding :(
And of course, this is just a small sampling of everything that is coursing through my brain, courtesy of the sodium/ potassium pumps in my neurons (Oh neuropsychology, I love you so much! ). I try to look at the positives in everything that I do, but lately it seems like the counterweight is a little heavier than usual. I think I need a vacation complete with beach and swimming and no stupid people... :/
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